A borrowed life

Up in the sky,
Staring the stars
I wonder, and  laugh
Laugh at humans
For once they were my acquaintance
Didn't take a moment , to batter my heart.

At the very young age of eighteen,
All my confidence was lost
I was taught to be fragile.
I wanted to be something,
Family wanted me to be something else,
And society expected me to be something else.
In front of society,family submitted.
Nobody asked, what I wanted.

I screamed,I cried, I howled
Nobody listened.
Everybody listened them,
Family, society, this is what we call them.
'Why don't you leave me alone,people?' I yelled
My voice was silenced,then
Always, by the expectations.

Then came the phase, It surrounded me for six months.
Depression, this is what we name it.
But for people,it was madness
Madness,which had engulfed me.
Depression, was a new term to them
For they have never heard about it before.

'I am not mad, I am not brain sick'
On the top of my voice,
I screamed a plethora of times.
But every time my scream was unheard.
Past,present, future,
Things never changed.
I was always taken for granted
Now, I wanted to grant my absence.


When I needed my family the most,
I was surrounded with emptiness.
When I looked for friends,
I landed into a spot of strange faces
O solitude! Even you were my better companion.
At least,you were with me all the time.

Who will cry when I die?
I asked myself,thousand times.
Dying is never an option,
This is what I was taught since childhood.
So many times ,I tried to console myself,
Never did anyone try to console me.
Earth was a borrowed land for me
With pre-mentioned dreams and opinions,
My feelings ,my dreams had no land to stand on.

I decided to end my life.
I wasn't a loser.
I just failed to follow my dreams.
Quitting wasn't easy.
People did cry, after I left.
This was unexpected.
O people! Life would have been much happier,
If you had left me alone
If you hadn't imposed your dreams on me.
Why are you shedding tears now?
My life wouldn't be restored,
That life,which was dying
To taste the happiness,and
To dream on its own.

©Heena Priya