In the 1999 science fiction
film The Matrix, the character of Neo
is presented with two choices: if he
swallows the red pill he will learn that the world is a dark place, controlled
by machines; if he swallows the blue pill he will return to his old life where
everyone lives in blissful ignorance. The
scene presents one of the great philosophical debates about truth and reality. At the end of the scene, Neo chooses the red
pill. He breaks away from the artificial
world and wakes up aboard a dilapidated hovercraft.
I wonder how many of us would choose to take the red pill
and see the world for what it is, rather than what we want it to be. I wonder if the average person would
knowingly exchange life’s little comforts for an absolute truth that involves the
constant disintegration of society.
Walking through downtown recently
I was reminded about the disintegration of society through language,
especially in the use of the apostrophe.
I watched as dozens of residents mindlessly strolled past sandwich
boards and community event posters, completely unaware of the blatant misuse of
the apostrophe – especially in pluralizing nouns. A few years ago, there was the occasional
mistake, but lately it has become an epidemic.
I
walked into a local coffee shop and, as I was waiting in line, I noticed that
the drink options were listed under two heading: Hot Drink’s or Cold Drink’s.
I
wasn’t going to say anything, but it bothered me. “You don’t pluralize with an apostrophe,” I
said. “What you’re advertising is Hot
Drink Is and Cold Drink Is.”
The
man behind the counter looked at the chalkboard. I was expecting him to thank me and apologize
for the mistake, but he didn’t.
“Whatever,” he said. “It doesn’t
matter.”
“Um…
no, it does matter,” I said. “It’s
wrong.”
I
was also going to tell him that there was, by definition, only one size of
cappuccino in the correct ratio of espresso, milk and foam. I wanted to remind him that a large
cappuccino is actually a latte, but I didn’t think it was a good time to bring
it up.
I understand that the
English language is constantly changing.
Unlike other languages that have remained largely unchanged for
thousands of years, the English language continues to warp and adapt and steal
from other languages. Since Germanic
tribes invaded Britain, resulting in the earliest form of the language, it has
always been a difficult language to learn.
But I am offended at how present-day English (especially as it is written
on social media) is now a jumble of poor grammar, punctuation,
capitalization and spelling. Some posts
I have read recently are like an elaborate code that even da Vinci would have
problem deciphering. Social media aside, I wonder if we can
reverse the worst mistakes being made today: the misuse of the apostrophe, and
the difference between your and you’re.
On
Valentine’s Day young men and women sent online messages and texts to their
sweethearts that read: “Your beautiful”.
The
proper response should have been: “My beautiful what?”
If
the response read, “I think your beautiful two.
Maybe we should meat for some hot drink’s,” then the two deserve each
other.
This
is not just a local issue. I have seen
the misuse of the apostrophe and confusion with your/you’re in towns and cities
across Canada and the United States. I also
have to wonder why the marketing department at 7-Eleven thought it prudent to
add an accent over the letter ‘e’ when advertising their lattes. Maybe they thought it would add a little sophistication to
the brand. But it’s wrong.
Be careful. There is no going back if you take the red
pill and are suddenly aware of all the poor grammar and punctuation. As with any absolute truth, it is more a
curse than a blessing. However, if you
are going to fight the good fight, then I will stand behind you. Maybe we have a chance of prolonging society, as we know
it. Maybe we have a chance of
maintaining the beauty of language before it disintegrates beyond
recognition. Every revolution starts
with a small step: in this case the correct use of the apostrophe – and maybe
the your/you’re issue while we’re at it. Sometimes I feel like walking around with a
large bottle of correction fluid and fixing the mistakes, but I might be
arrested and end up in the police blotter.
This is serious. Don’t laugh.
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