The papers start
The war finally began and the first battle was with English. There is a thing which is peculiar about English which is that you are not 100% prepared for this subject. You don’t know what type of comprehension is coming and what type of writing skills are set in the examination. You can only mug up your literature part.
10 days before the actual examination started we decided to deactivate our all social networking accounts. If there was urgency, we could either call each other or simply send a text message.
The first three papers went off quiet well without much hiccups. Her papers also went off quiet smoothly. And now it was the time of our mathematics paper. But before that it was also my birthday. March is the worst time to have your birthday as most of the time your examinations are going on at this point of the year. Just imagine on one side there is your birthday cake and on side there is your mathematics book. ‘Yumm’ and ‘Yuckkk’ are the feelings.
It was 12 in the midnight. The Samsung actually whistled at perfect 12. It was her texting me a very happy birthday. So sweet of her, she was the first one to wish me even before my parents wished. I texted her back saying thank you so much and that she was the first one to actually wish me. She didn’t reply to that. I thought she must have slept. Suddenly my sister and my parents came into my room and wished me as my sister brought in the cake from the refrigerator and I cut the cake. It was a good midnight celebration and was a good break before the disaster.
My only prayer before going into the examination room before the mathematics paper was “baba ji bas pass kara dena jaise bhi ho bas pass kara dena “. The paper was seriously tough but luckily for me I knew some of the six markers questions. I actually knew only half of the questions from the limited chapters that I had prepared so I was able to do my exam in just two hours but was now sure that at least I won’t fail in this subject. I was now busy observing everyone else’s tensed faces while doing their papers. The tension was like it was the last train to India from Lahore before the partition. She also looked tensed and I wanted to help her out. But expecting help from me in a maths paper is like asking a blind man to help in crossing the road. And somehow I managed to pass the time as the bell rang to indicate that the paper was over. I was pretty satisfied but I guess all others coming out of the examination room were not. The paper was actually one of the hardest papers ever set but since my expectations were worse I was happy to be ensured of getting that magical figure of thirty three.
She finally came out of the examination room looking quite tensed. I asked her about the paper and the reaction was big tears in her eyes. “Yaar I studied so hard for this subject still the paper went in the worse possible way, I won’t be able to score more than eighty in this paper; kya yaar”. “LOL; I won’t be able to score more than forty still I am smiling that at least I won’t fail”. Avi then came and said,”Main na paper karte karte tera hi soch raha tha ki jab paper main humara bura haal ho raha tha toh tera kya haal ho raha hoga”. “Bhai the point is ki my motive was just to pass this paper and that I would be able to do so; hence mission accomplished for me”. She then said, “My mom as usual has come to pick me up, so now we won’t be able to talk so bye” and I saw her mom standing at the gate of the examination centre. She looked a very dominating personality with wide open eyes looking for her daughter. I first thought to wish her but her strong personality forced me to back out from this option and I decided to approach towards the metro station with Darsh and Avi.
The final frontier
It was our last paper the next day and the subject was Economics; one of the well prepared subjects for me. I was confident of doing well in this subject. So I decided to stop studying at around seven in the evening and started to watch television.
Suddenly the Samsung whistled. It was a message from her. It had a lot of crying emotions and she had written in it “I am screwed; I don’t know what I am going to do tomorrow; please help me out”. I texted her back saying “Yaar tension mat le believe in yourself; be confident and do your best and do one thing come early tomorrow morning at the examination centre and I will clear all your doubts”.
“Yaar meri mom mere sath hogi she would not allow me to talk with you still I would try to come early”. “Ok no problem; just drop me a text at night so that I could come accordingly. “Yaar go ahead with your plans I will manage it myself please yaar tuney bhi exam dena hain do according to your plan only”. To which I replied; ‘You are important to me I could not afford to see you sad I will manage it just study now and jo bhi doubt nikal liyo me sare samjha dunga”. And in the late night she texted me I will come an hour earlier at the metro station zyada doubts to nahin hain still jo bhi hain clear kar dio yaar”. This message of hers’ I saw in the morning as I began to learn a few diagrams and numerical formulas.
“Arey yaad se isko jaane se pehle dahi cheeni khila dena; aaj iska aakhri paper hai” said my father to my mom as I was about to leave for the metro station. My mother then put 5 spoons of curd and sugar while saying a prayer in her mouth “Waheguru Ji tera is paper main bhi sath denge ache se kario paper last paper ki excitement main galat shalat na kar aaio paper; tere liye sare paper bahut zarrori hain, samjha na” my mom said. “Yes mom, I am your son will do this paper with full attention and care, now I would have to leave Avi would be waiting for me” I said and touched my parents feet before leaving for the station. I had texted her to wait for me at the platform only as some of the doubts could be easily cleared during the journey only. So I rushed towards the metro station as I didn’t want her to wait for me.
The last bye
“I don’t know how to thank you yaar jo tune samjhaya tha vo sara paper mein aa gaya; if you would not have been there is paper ka to band baj jana tha” she said in an exciting voice while coming out of the examination hall. “There is only one way to thank me and that is I don’t want this bye to be the last bye of our lives. I cannot imagine that after today we won’t be able to meet regularly” I said. “We will meet yaar, don’t take tension we will meet as of now where are you giving me your birthday treat” she said. “Bahar teri mummy ji khadi hongi unko bhi sath le chalo kya unke aage baat to karne nahin deti hain tere ko treat kahan se dunga main”. “Today she won’t be coming to pick me up as she has some urgent piece of work at home so don’t you think that you will be spared from giving me a treat” she said. “Ask Anmol and Aashna also if they also want to join”. To which she said, “No, I am not asking them as I can meet them after this day, but I want to spend this time with you only. Have you told your parents that you would be returning late today as I have told mine that I would be going with Aashna and Anmol”. “Yeah I told them that I would be giving my birthday treat to Avi and Darsh but I need to tell my parents how my paper went, so I need to make a call but what about Darsh & Avi” I said.
She very confidently said, “Yaar they would be going with Aashna & Anmol you don’t worry about them I have already talked to them you just go and talk to your parents”.
I went to the PCO and told my parents that my paper went off quiet well and that I am going with my friends to the KFC District Centre for my birthday treat. She was standing outside the PCO waiting patiently for my call to end. After the call, she hold my hands as we together went towards the metro station. And soon we were standing at the platform and boarded our trains. I took my tie off and relaxed down a little. And in ten minutes we were standing at the janakpuri west station. We reached the KFC and I ordered the most expensive item on the menu without even knowing what their names were. She scolded me “Yaar yeh thodi na hota hain ki jo cheez mehngi ho vo achi hi hogi”. The food came and she was continuously talking but I was not feeling so good. We eat the food spicy grilled chicken and ice tea. And now she said that we should leave and we again went towards the metro station. At the platform, in some gentleman’s phone a song was playing; its lyrics were perfectly apt according to the situation “lag ja gale ke phir yeh haseen raat ho na ho shayad phir is janam main mulakat ho na ho”. Hearing the song both of us were unable to control our emotions and hugged each other. I was known for having a strong character but was unable to control my emotions and there were tears in my eyes. Suddenly the train arrived and she went in the train. “If only I have could delay this moment” were my reactions as the train whistled away from the metro station.
The next two months
As I have already told you that I was quiet an overweight boy. So the first thing I did after the exams was that I joined a nearby gym to lose those extra kilos of my body. The first few days were like hell with severe pain all over my body. It seemed like that my body had rust all over it and it would take a lot of oiling to get back in shape. My trainer at gym was quite an experienced one and he didn’t care of my “oohs and aas” during my exercises. And side by side I started writing a few articles as a hobby and enjoyed those days to the fullest. Results were still away so I everyday used to hang around with my friends.
She, not listening to my advice started preparing for her CA Entrance Exam and had even joined a coaching centre for it. We used to stay in touch with the social networking sites but meeting was out of question. Her parents told her that she has to pass the entrance exam at any cost so she was under a lot of pressure. I wanted to tell her parents to stop putting pressure on her but I couldn’t. The wide big eyes of her mother made me think otherwise as I controlled my emotions. The texts and the messages were getting fewer day by day and I could easily assume that she was under a lot of pressure. I wanted to free her out of that pressure but for that I had to meet her. How and when and where I didn’t know.
Finally my luck favored me after around a month (after that final exam of economics). She was standing at the Rajouri garden metro station while I was waiting for Avi at the station. I saw her but she didn’t as I ran towards her and put my hand on her shoulders. “hey you are looking quite different how much weight have you lost yaar I saw your pic on facebook you looked slim, but my god in reality you are looking even better” she said. She was wearing a yellow kurti and white leggings and there were black marks under her eyes. In an angry tone I told her, “Yaar thoda kam pada kar, aankho ke neeche gade aa gaye hain, tera cpt (entrance exam of CA) hi to hain thoda kam pada kar yaar, thoda enjoy bhi kiya kar aage ja ke toh vaise bhi zindagi gadho wali ho jani hain phir yaad karegi yeh time” Then, not to my surprise, she said, “Yaar tjhe toh pata hi hai meri family ke bare main I am not interested in doing Chartered Accountancy but they again and again are forcing me to take up this”. I asked her if I shall talk to her mother. I told her that I cannot see her like that. You should pick up only that course in which you have interest and you are not a small kid now” I said in a tensed tone. “Yaar you know what whether you buy a biscuit or you choose the course; your parents always have the final say so there is not much you can do about this”, she said now standing firm. I felt sorry for her now. I wanted to tell her that it was not the case with all the parents as my parents never put any kind of pressure on me. But if I said something bad about her parents she might have felt even worse so I just looked into her eyes & kept quiet. Suddenly her train arrived and she said “Yaar my train has arrived so I have to leave now see you soon” she said as I again watched her disappearing away from her eyes.
The result day
“Jiss pal ka hume kabhi na intezar tha vo aakhir aa hi gaya”. This was one of my friend’s status on facebook which he had put on his facebook wall a night before the results for XII Class were to be announced. And the comments on the status were like, ”ki jo bhi ho koi ulti seedhi harkat mat kar lena” such was the level of tension in the minds of students waiting for their XII grade marks. I texted her on her whatsapp to be confident and that she would get a better result than me. She replied me back ki whatever the result would be she has to clear her CPT and focus only on that is what her mother had said to her so she was a little less worried than what we were a night before the result day.
And the site was working on a tortoise speed that day. But finally it opened and I scored a best four score of 87 per. It was highest score in my family so my parents were quite happy. I was actually more happy that I had passed in my mathematics paper scoring a perfect half century and I must tell you that I was more happy of my half century score in mathematics than a score of ninety five in economics. I called her to know her result. The bell on her phone was ringing on so was my heart beat. And finally after five rings she picked up. I asked her about her result and she in a disinterested tone said, ”Yaar I got 89 percent but it doesn’t matter”. Hearing this, I told her, “You have actually outscored me and still you are sounding so sad”. “Yaar after my result came, my mom told me to only concentrate on my CA Exam and these marks should not distract you from your goal” she said. “Yaar what the hell of a human being is your mom; instead of giving a pat on your shoulder she is just telling you to concentrate on your entrance exam. Give the phone to your mother I want to talk to her” I said in a very angry tone. I was now ready to face her wide eyed mom as I wanted to see her happy after such a fine performance in her board exams. “Yaar please leave it woh jaise bhi hain, hain toh meri hi mom; I want to see her happy so I will crack this exam and then leave it to god “jo vo karenge acha hi karenge you leave my story tell what’s the mood in your house? Are your parents happy?”. “Yeah I have scored the highest marks in my whole family so they are quiet happy and are planning a party on the success of my result” I said. “Cool yaar chal will catch you later mom would be returning in a few moments will meet you soon yaar” she said and hung up.
Admission secured
Principal’s signature done, finally I have got admission. Relaxed finally I thanked god for ending this month long drama. I called my parents giving them the news of getting admission in B.Com (Hons.) in Delhi University. SGND College it was. My parents were also happy and feeling relaxed. My mother told me to wait for her in the college itself and then we both will go back home via metro. Feeling damn excited, I dialed Her number. She picked up after many rings. I told her how I got admission in SGND. She was very happy for me. I said that she should also opt for regular college. She said that she wanted to attend but her parents are not allowing her to do so. And then the rest of the conversation was like this,
“Its your life and you should take your own decision; your parents won’t study on your behalf; it’s you only. Speak to your parents and tell them that you are not interested in pursuing this course and want to attend regular college. Your percentage is good and you will get admission in a very good college; SGGSC may be”. I said sitting on the stairs of SGND College after finally securing admission in B.Com (Hons.). It might not be the greatest college but its’ under Delhi University man’’. “I have tried everything yaar, but they are not listening. They are saying that most of our family members are Charted Accountants so you must also pursue that only” she replied and cut the phone. Always looking to do things for others without caring for her; I thought in my head. I was now angry. The happiness of securing admission was now gone as it was confirmed now that she would not be joining the college not by her own choice but because of the pressure of her parents.
Epilogue
Suddenly my Samsung phone rang. It was Anmol. I had instructed to call me when they were about to reach so that we would give the last minute touches to the venue. I quickly picked up the phone and said in an excited tone “kitni der madam we are waiting for the birthday girl where are you right now?” There was silence on the other side. I then repeated myself, but all Anmol could spoke up was
“She is in hospital right now, come as quickly as possible to Khanna Nursing Home, she is in critical stage. Pls. come soon”.
And believe me guys I ran like a mad man towards the nursing home. Cars, bikes, scooters didn’t bothered me as I ran towards the hospital where my beloved was lying. As soon as I reached there I saw Anmol & Aashna weeping very badly and seeing me their cries got even louder. “Kya hua hai usey jaldi batao yaar mere se aur bardaasht nahin ho raha”. Anmol somehow gathering her senses told the worst possible news, “Our friend is no more yaar; our brave friend is no more. Doctors are saying that because of over pressure she received a cardiac arrest and is no longer with us”
It was this moment that my heart sank and freezed on the spot. It was not a cardiac arrest it was a murder I wanted to tell everyone. She was no more and I was bitten by a keeda; the love keeda that would bite & haunt me throughout my life.
How do I mend a broken heart?
My entire world has fallen apart.
How do I find hope in a brand new day;
When the one I love has gone away?
My mind overflows with memories of you,
Of all that we’ve shared, all that we knew.
I long for your touch and your warm embrace,
The look in your eyes, the smile on your face.
My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss,
I wake and cry for all that I miss.
How do I mend a broken heart,
When my one true love and I are apart?
My heart knows to love only you,
I won’t let go, what do I do?
Our moments together were precious and few,
But I cherished them all more than you knew.
I love you my angel and always will,
I loved you then and I love you still.
A message to all parents
First of all I am saying sorry to all the parents because I may sound a little rude to many of you in my message. I know that parents never want to do anything bad for their children and always think the best for them. But I think that time has come to let your child take some decision of his/her own. After the age of eighteen, our government enables a person to vote considering the fact that he is mature enough to take own decisions and elect the best possible representative from the available choices but when it comes to the choice of course you have the final say whether your child likes it or not. You should guide us, tell us what are the pros and cons of a decision but you should not force your decision. You should act more as a friend rather than acting as a dictator. That’s all I want to say.
The End.
GURUKARAN SINGH
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